Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
Last Updated: 30.06.2025 04:38
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
I was tired of trying and failing.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
What is your wildest experience in Bangalore that you haven’t told anyone?
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
I was tired of fighting.
You are like me, then.
For what reasons would lawyers hesitate to use a legal AI product?
I had run out of hope.
Be who you already are.
And the sadness?
What is the worst name in Tolkien’s legendarium (meaning and look)?
It’s still here.
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
What is it like to experience sleep paralysis?
It’s here now, writing to you.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
Department of Homeland Security lists Buncombe County as 'sanctuary jurisdiction' - WLOS
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
The sadness was still there.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
How do flat earthers explain the Earth being stationary? Is this concept considered impossible?
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.